What is domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse is an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling behaviour towards another person. There are many different forms of domestic abuse, and it isn’t always physical or visible.
In the majority of cases, domestic abuse is perpetrated by a partner or ex-partner, but can also be by a family member of carer. It is most commonly experienced by women and perpetrated by men. This is what makes domestic abuse a gendered crime, and it can happen to any woman.
1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse. You are not alone.
Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:
- Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
- Psychological and/or emotional abuse
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Financial or economic abuse
- Harassment and stalking
- Online or digital abuse
1.4 million women experienced domestic abuse in 2022/23. Crime Survey for England & Wales, ONS (2023)
Am I experiencing domestic abuse?
Do you change your behaviour because you are frightened of your partner's reaction?
Is your partner jealous or possessive?
Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells around your partner?
Do you feel controlled or isolated from friends and family?
Does your partner keep track of your movements, messages, phone calls or social media?
Does your partner humiliate or shame you in front of others, sometimes through the disguise of banter?
Do you feel forced into having or performing sex acts that you don't feel comfortable doing?
Do you hide your partners behaviour from your friends and family?
Is your partner a different person behind closed doors?
Does your partner control your money, or make sure you're dependent on them for everyday items?
Does your partner play mind games and make you doubt your own judgement?
Are you scared of what will happen if you leave them?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing domestic abuse. Give us a call, or visit one of our One Stop Shops to receive support from our expert team.
Forms of domestic abuse
A common myth is that domestic abuse only involves physical or sexual violence. In reality, many people experience domestic abuse without ever being physically harmed. Non-physical forms of domestic abuse can be just as traumatic and destructive as physical or sexual violence.
Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviours that are carried out to control, isolate or frighten you. These behaviours can be clear, or can be incredibly subtle. Over time, emotional abuse can wear down a person’s mental health, confidence and self-esteem, and can result in feelings of anxiety, depression, fear and uncertainty.
It could include:
- Yelling at you
- Calling you names
- Making threats to you, your children or pets
- Intimidating you
- Being manipulative
- Humiliating you at home, or in front of others, and disguising it with banter
- Being dismissive of you, your opinions or feelings
- Monitoring your movement, texts and social media
- Being jealous of others
- Gas-lighting you, leading to you not trusting your own judgement
If you think you’re experiencing emotional abuse, we’re here to help you.
Coercive control is a criminal offence.
When an abuser uses a pattern of behaviour over a duration of time to exert power and control over you, they are perpetrating coercive control. This behaviour is designed to make their victim dependent on them, isolating them from their support networks, exploiting them and regulating their everyday behaviour.
It could include:
- Making it hard for you to see your friends and family, leaving you feeling isolated
- Telling you where you can and can’t go, and when
- Constantly texting or calling you whilst you’re away from them
- Controlling what you wear and how you look
- Making you question your actions and judgement
- Love bombing – overly affectionate and kind behaviour, followed by abusive behaviour
- Making you change your behaviour to suit their desires
- Watching what you say around friends and family
If you think you’re experiencing coercive control, we’re here to help you.
Economic abuse can take many forms, and is centred around an abuser limiting, controlling or sabotaging your access to money or other economic resources, such as food, clothes, transport or housing.
It could include:
- Controlling your money or other financial assets
- Spending your money
- Damaging your possessions or property
- Building up debt in your name
- Preventing you from earning money
- Withholding child maintenance payments
- Making financial decisions that impact you and your family
- Refusing you access to shared bank accounts
- Keeping financial information a secret
If you think you’re experiencing economic abuse, we’re here to help you.
Sexual abuse can take many forms, and it isn’t always physical, but it is a type of domestic abuse.
It could include:
- Non-consensual sexual activity, including photography or videos
- Sexual harassment
- Intimidating you or forcing you to perform sexual acts
- Forcing you to watch or look at pornographic material
- Threatening you if you do not take part in sexual activity
- Verbally or physically attacking you due to your sexuality or sexual preferences
- Using sex as a form of punishment
- Forcing you to carry out degrading or humiliating sexual acts or these being done to you
If you think you’re experiencing sexual abuse, we’re here to help you.
Stalking is a criminal offence.
Stalking is a pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour, causing distress and fear of violence. The behaviour is repetitive, persistent and intrusive.
It could include:
- Receiving regular and persistent unwanted communication, in-person or online
- Being followed on a regular basis
- Turning up, unwanted, at your place of work, home or a social setting
- Making threats towards you
- Damaging your property
- Contacting your friends, family or workplace without your permission
- Receiving regular unwanted gifts
If you think you’re being stalked or harassed, we’re here to help you.
Physical abuse is any act of violence that is carried out towards you, or near you to inflict fear. It isn’t always hitting, and can involve throwing things, breaking things or restraining you. Abusers commonly inflict physical harm to a bodily location that can be hidden and covered by clothes.
It could include:
- Physical violence towards you, such as hitting, slapping or kicking
- Physically restraining you
- Carrying out small acts of violence such as pinching, and claiming it to be a joke
- Throwing objects at you
- Throwing objects around you to inflict fear
- Threatening physical violence towards you
- Causing physical harm through cuts or burns
If you are being physically abused, we’re here to help you.
Tech abuse occurs when someone is using technology to control, harass or intimidate you. They may also carry out physical, sexual, emotional or economic abuse using technology.
It could include:
- Your abuser constantly sending you messages, calling or emailing you
- Hacking your phone or email
- Pressuring you to share your messages, social media or phone calls
- Tracking your movement using an app on your phone
- Cyberstalking you
- Controlling or limiting your access to your phone
- Pressuring you to share your passwords, sync accounts or share your location
- Posting about you online or threatening to share images
- Controlling your technology, holding your passwords or restricting use to your technology
- Buying technological gifts for your children to track what they are doing online
- Having access to your financial accounts, such as banking, personal utilities or household accounts
- Using smart home devices against you, such as thermometers, cameras or speakers
If you think you’re experiencing tech abuse, we’re here to help you.
Honour-based abuse is an incident or crime committed to protect or defend the ‘honour’ of the family within their community.
Honour-based abuse could include being threated or abused for:
- Having a relationship or marrying someone outside of your community, or that your family don’t approve of
- Separating or divorcing from your partner
- Having sex before marriage
- Talking or having relationships with certain people
- Becoming pregnant or giving birth outside of marriage
- Wearing clothes your family or community think are inappropriate
- Using drugs or drinking alcohol
- Challenging what your family or community expect of you
- Disagreeing with the religion of your family or community
Honour-based abuse could include:
- Forced marriage
- Domestic abuse
- Threats of physical and emotional violence, or murder
- Pressure to go or move abroad
- Being kept at home with no freedom
- Not having access to important documents, such as your passport or birth certificate
- Being isolated from friends and members of your own family
If you think you’re experiencing honour-based abuse, we’re here to help you.
Domestic abuse is a crime.
Domestic abuse is defined as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and/or violent behaviour in which the people involved are 16 or over and personally connected (regardless of their gender or sexuality).
In 2015, coercive control within an intimate or family relationship was established as a criminal offence in the Serious Crime Act. Those found guilty of coercive control will face a maximum of 5 years’ imprisonment or a fine.
In April 2021, the Domestic Abuse Act came into UK law. Alongside many important and essential developments, its updated definition emphasised that domestic abuse isn’t just physical. It made non-fatal strangulation a criminal offence, and recognised children who witness and experience domestic abuse as victims in their own right. It also gave victims the legal right to know if their current or ex-partner has any previous history of violence or abuse through a policy named ‘Clare’s Law’.